Humbled... March 10th-12th

Hello again :) Here we are with updates from Monday to today! 

Monday, March 10^{th  :}

Lent: A journey toward the cross

I am beginning to realize that my commitment to studying Lent and its importance is more time consuming than I expected. I am also beginning to realize that I may be in over my head… 

There is a lot to be said about Lent, from both a Catholic point of view and a Protestant point of view. This is proving to be difficult for me to tackle, as I am not Catholic and I do not know, nor really understand, many of the practices and reasoning of the season of Lent in the Catholic religion. But I began where anyone would… a Google search about Lent!

I decided to keep my search pretty general; not specifying between Roman Catholic and Protestant views. But the Internet did that for me, anyway. There were a lot of websites, such as “americancatholic.org” and “catholiceducation.org” that clearly steered one way. There were also many sites that did not look legit to me, based on my knowledge of reliable Internet resources (yes, I am really learning things in college!). So, I was at a loss for where to begin to relay some of the information about Lent. 

But here is my understanding based on what I already know, and a little of what I read:

1. Lent takes place in the 40 days leading up to Easter.

2. Traditionally, believers are supposed to give up something (fasting, earthly distractions, etc.) to focus on Jesus and his suffering leading up to his death.

3. Believers are supposed to devote more time than they usually would to prayer and penance in the season of Lent. 

4. Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent on the Church calendar, and ashes are put on one's forehead to remind us that "from dust we came, and to dust we shall return". 

5. Lent is a journey toward the cross.

And that was as far as I got on Monday. I plan to research and think more on these topics over the next few weeks, so more information is on the way!

Tuesday, March 11^th

“Do not let your prophets and your diviners who are among you deceive you, and do not listen to the dreams that they dream, for it is a lie that they are prophesying to you in my name; I did not send them, declares the Lord.”Jeremiah 29:8, ESV

 I was really encouraged by this verse on Tuesday. It seems like a strange verse to be encouraged by, especially since it comes just before Jeremiah 29:11, one of the most encouraging verses in the Bible. But perhaps it makes more sense that this would be a source of encouragement for me, in light of the fact that it is so closely connect with verse 11. 

To put this verse in the context of it's time,  Jeremiah 29 was a letter sent from the prophet Jeremiah to the exiles from Jerusalem, who were now residing in Babylon. God told them, through Jeremiah, to settle down in spite of their exile. They were to marry, raise families and wait on the Lord to deliver them. Verse 8 is referring to the false prophets, whose dreams and visions encouraged the people to go against God's will and leave Babylon. This story is pretty foreign to me, as I have never been exiled from my home. And while this verse makes perfect sense in this context, it struck me in a different way.

I loved the "do not listen to the dreams that they dream" portion of this verse. It made me think of all the standards I have ever been held to; all the expectations that have weighed on my shoulders since I was young. I reflected on the dreams I hold close to my heart, some of which have been heavily influenced by other things besides God's will for me. My "prophets and diviners" look more like the media, the secular worldview, and even my friends and family who may encourage me to walk in a way that is outside of God's plan. 

This reminds me to keep my eyes set on God's glory and my heart on fire for Him. I want to dream only the dreams that He has for me.

Thank you, God, for your faithfulness and guidance. 

Wednesday, March 12th:

I ended my prayer yesterday with a word that holds a lot of weight for me... "faithfulness." 

I have never been good at being faithful. For one thing, I started this blog over a year ago with the intention of being faithful to post about my journey after moving home from Seattle... that endeavor didn't go super well. 

I am often really unfaithful to my friends with things like keeping secrets and standing up for them. I'm a people pleaser! That causes me to discount those who are really important to me in order for others to like me more at my friend's expense... 

I feel most unfaithful in my relationship with God, though. I go through long seasons of dryness and shallowness. I have gone weeks without praying before. And then I wonder why God seems quiet and absent. 

However, in the last week I discovered that somehow I have been equating faithfulness with perfection. 

WHAT? How did that happen?!

It seems ridiculous to me... I tell my high school students ALL the time that it doesn't matter how far they may stray or how unworthy they may feel; God is always there, ready to welcome them home. And somehow that message was lost on me? Apparently.

God revealed His grace to me, yet again, and gently brought me to a place of realization about my backward view of faithfulness.
Basically, He said this to me:

"It is not about you connecting with me all the time, daughter. It is about me being with you all the time. Faithfulness does not equal perfection. I am the founder and protector of your faith, and with me you will not fail. TRUST me with your life. Though you may be afraid, walk forward anyway with faith, not perfection. I love you."

Needless to say, I've been in a state of humble gratitude today.
I will pursue faithfulness, and let God be great and perfect.


Thanks for reading, see you Sunday!